What’s With All the Idiot Porsche Drivers Lately?

Let’s have a heart to heart, Porsche fans. I know it isn’t all of you making bad choices behind the wheel, but lately there seem to have been a rash of foolish, dangerous and absurd incidents in the news involving Porsches. You know that we at FLATSIXES.com like our racing on the track, and our street driving to be handled as safely as possible, even when going quickly. We pride ourselves on being practical, sensible, and conscientious people, and we like to project those positive feelings on our fellow Porsche-owners when we see them on the road.

With that said, if you see or know of any Porsche owners behaving like you see below, please take them aside, sit them down, and politely ask “what in the name of Ferdinand Porsche is wrong with you?!”

Gasoline and Open Flames Don’t Mix in a Boxster

This should be the most basic of all. Gasoline and open flames don’t mix when out in the open. If you happen to be in an environment where gasoline and open flames mix, you are likely inside a cylinder, and you are probably a spark plug. Anywhere else, this is simply not ok.  While preparing for Hurricane Irma, this Porsche owner took his Boxster to the gas station to fill up a gascan for his generator. Fine.

On the way home, with the gas can on the passenger seat, they lit a cigarette, with extremely predictable results. The car is a total loss, fortunately the owner was fine.

Road Rage Comes in All Shapes and Sizes

These next two, yes two, incidents involve Porsche drivers perpetrating some absurd road rage. The first one, shown above, involves a Cayman driver in Malaysia. While the driver filming the incident may not have been completely in the right, that does not excuse the Porsche driver from cutting the guy off and trying to haul down to a stop in the middle of a highway.

The second, incident comes from South Africa, and follows an accident between a Range Rover and a Cayenne. From what we can see, the two cars impacted along the side (note the damage to the Cayenne’s right rear door and the Range Rover’s left mirror). While the damage doesn’t appear catastrophic, the Porsche owner’s immediate response is. Upsetting, yes, but not “I’m gonna fight you motherf***er material.” Seriously folks, exchange information, get the damage fixed, and go on with your life. Things could go a lot worse. Need we remind you…

… Don’t Shoot People From Your Porsche

Just don’t. I really don’t want to give this more copy, but the long and the short is this: Homeless man approaches Porsche driver parked along the sidewalk. There is an altercation, the nature of it is reported differently by both sides. The Porsche driver pulls a gun and blind fires (yes, eyes closed) twice out the window, reportedly as “warning shots.” The homeless man is hit by both shots and put in critical condition. The driver does not report the incident, leaves the scene.

Really folks, can we go back to the old kind of Porsche misbehavior, like trying to take a Panamera Turbo off-road with predictable results, or parking GT3 Cup Cars on top of one another?