Twas the night before Christmas, where all through the shop
Not an engine was leaking, not even a drop.
The tires were filled to their max PSI,
In hopes that dreaded flat spots won’t appear where they lie.
The drivers were warm, all snug on the couch,
Playing driving games in earnest so their skills would not slouch.
With batteries slowly charging from electricity on tap,
The Porsches were prepared for their long winter’s nap.
When from beyond the garage there arose such a roar,
I sprang from my PS3 to the polished concrete floor.
A click of a button and the garage doors did raise,
I looked out into the dark my mind in a haze.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to the objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Porsche Turbo for a gift, “is this a joke?” I did fear!
With a tap of the pedal the exhaust note sounds,
I knew in a moment a flat six had been found.
More rapid than a cheater in a Nissan GT-R,
With a new Porsche Turbo I know I’ll go far.
Now Doctor! Now Hoffman! now, Carlson and Butzi!
On, Elford! On, Patrick! on, David and Hurley!
To the start of the race! we’re off to the “Ring”!
Through the corners and chicanes this Turbo we’ll fling.
If we meet with an obstacle, forced air is induced,
Nothing feels quite the same as that twin turbo boost.
Around and around the “ring” we did go,
By holding the line we were anything but slow.
Lap after lap the tarmac flew past,
We knew from the start we’d never be last.
My foot on the gas, I’m ready to shift,
If you find the apex there’s no need to lift.
As we round the last corner the checkered flag in site,
This unfair race wasn’t even a fight.
The marshals guide us toward victory lane,
Where once again Podium is Porsche’s to gain.
Up upon the highest platform we stand,
Taking the win in Porsche’s homeland.
Time to go home, put the Turbo in gear,
We turn up the radio for all to hear.
The speakers are blaring as we drive out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
