I’ve always thought myself to have a decent vocabulary, but never felt the need to wave it around attracting attention. Besides, what I didn’t know I could fake, right? In other words, it usually requires a long and lengthy lexicon to find me reaching for my well worn Webster’s. So imagine my surprise when I read about a Porsche GT2 described as “lairy*". That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?
I don’t think it’s any great secret that Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson is no fan of the Porsche marque (the 911 in particular). In fact, it seems he can’t resist the urge to throw jabs whenever the opportunity presents itself. He’s done everything from destroying a 911 to deriding the agility and appearance of the 997 GT2 and GT3 (let’s not forget the above mentioned “lairy” comment). Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, my only question is why?
Here’s Clarkson disrespecting the 911 GT2
As I started looking for an answer, I found the following in a Clarkson review of the Porsche GT3:
The GT3 was wrong in every way. And to compound the issue, it is, of course, a 911 – a car I’ve never liked. My relationship with this brainchild of Hitler is curious. I’ve always enjoyed driving them, apart from the 1992 RS which was horrid – and purple, if memory serves – and I’ve always admired the quality. But they’ve all failed to put their hands down my trousers and give me a squeeze. I find them as emotionless as limestone and as a result, I would never even think of buying one.
Okay, he finds them “emotionless as limestone” and maybe he’s a bit sexually frustrated. Outside of that why the continued contempt? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Clarkson fan. I just don’t understand the hate. Was he somehow snubbed by Porsche? Did his size 14, seemingly lead filled foot, get run over by a 911 on the track somewhere. If you know the reason or story behind the odium* (how’s that for a vocab word?) please let me know.
*lairy : vulgar and flashy
*odium : hatred and condemnation accompanied by loathing or contempt
[Source: 993C4S, TopGear, Websters]
Hi John
Over here, lairy is often used to describe wild and outrageous cars. It’s not necessarily derogatory.
Cheers
Phil
Thanks Phil,
I appreciate the “translation” if you will. As Clarkson’s animosity toward Porsche is well known I just assumed he used it in the derogatory sense. Even though most of what he says is “tongue-in-cheek”, I’m still curious what started him down this path.
I think his problem is, he’s become known for not liking the 911, that people expect him to slag it off. That said, he has warmed towards the 911 in recent years.
I say he’s a sucker for good looks -to the point of being uncontrollably woo’d by them. Clarkson claims Porsche lacks the passion Ferrari has. I think Porsche’s passion is engineering, while Ferrari’s is design.
So like I said, he’s a sucker for the looks.
Clarkson is notoriously inconsistent and when reviewing any two cars, so long as there is at least one that isn’t a Porsche, he will favor the non-Porsche. Period.
In the 90s, when he was new to the Top Gear scene (back when they actually made the show for the common people, and not the enthusiasts as they do today) he reviewed a 968 and some bloaty Jaguar coupe. He recited technical documentation straight from Porsche information books, then added a casual, “I don’t believe this, so I’m going to tell you it’s false,” and went on praising the Jaguar because of its “Britishness”. The 968 was rolled off a cliff.
I remember he tried to kill a 964 an episode, too… hit a fence with it, hit buildings, trees, poured acid through the rear vents (WTF was he expecting that to do, anyways? melt the air intake?) and finally, since it was still drivable up till then, he simply blew it up with conventional explosives.
When the CGT came out, he juiced all over the technical specs and his driving footage was hysterical — he was clearly impressed with the car, as anyone hearing a sonorous roar of the V-10 screaming behind them would be obliged to do. But then a week later, another supercar comes along (I assume Ferrari) and he says, “oh, the CGT was so dumpy in corners and couldn’t handle, etc etc etc”
While the phrases are slightly sophomoric, I feel that ‘douchenozzle’ and ‘tool bag’ are really the only phrases that come close to explaining this strange man’s stranger behavior. Although in the Top Gear blogs, he did admit that if he was forced to own any Porsche, it’d be a 944, so maybe he’s not completely out of line…. /stir pot.
Andrew,
No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get a rise out of the 911 crowd.
I think everyone is scared of your “verbosity”. 
They must be too busy taking their cars in for oil changes to reply! 964s have two oil filters so they take twice as long!
..Eh, I take that back — I don’t want folks thinking I’m trolling your site. Anything I’ve referenced regarding Porsche has come from the small library of articles and books about Porsche I’ve saved over the past few years. I’m no lawyer, but maybe I just make a good case
@Andrew.
Re: Oil filters. Treading on thin ice now as 993s have two too.
@Jeph,
Well said.
the porche and the ferarri are two totally different beasts…how can you even begin to compare the two?
+ 1 NT LLC
Was going to say that myself — Ferrari prides itself on being the most direct translation of F1 cars to passenger vehicles, with emphasis on balls out power and bleeding edge integration of the newest racing technologies. Also, you must have a fat wallet and be okay with an automatic transmission.
Porsche, in spite of their dizzying heights with some prices, is much more of a performance car for the (slightly richer, so not truly common) common people. Every 911 can mosey around traffic without feeling too choked and underwhelmed, but they still shine at the limit. Prices start at 47000 and cap off around 500,000(CGT territory), whereas Ferrari STARTS at 100,000 per car and goes up, up, up!